things under my desk

I'm cleaning my room in preparation for moving back home in 13 days. And I have to say I have kept a lot of plastic bags under my desk lately. I also have textbooks in my laundry basket...not quite sure why I put them there. I also have a towel I borrowed from someone for one day back in November. Yeah...I'm a weird sort of pack rat. I had 18 lids from Jones Soda bottles saved. So I typed up the fortunes and threw away the lids.
So here are 18 "fortunes" for you with my comments.

1. Call an old friend (in bed).
2. Ask yourself why (you're here).
3. Concentration leads to success (in bed).
4. You will find security being with a loved one (in bed).
5. Destroy the beeper. (I'm really confused by this one.)
   
6. Make as many corrections as you consider needed (on your homework).
   
7. Time is the wisest counselor. (no comment)
   
8. An important decision shall soon be yours (in bed).
9. See a sunrise. (You have to get out of bed to do that.)
   
10. Accept a gift graciously. (I got this one around Christmas.)
    
11. The project that you have in mind now gains momentum (in bed).
12. Good fortune will soon find you (in bed).
13. You will soon receive compliments on your style.
14. Go to your elders when you feel a crisis (in bed).
15. You will make exciting holiday plans. (another Christmas present)
    
16. Many ideals are becoming real (in bed).
17. The strengths in your character will bring you serenity (in bed).
18. A balance is needed between home and business (in bed).

Some of those are really wrong when you add "in bed" although my favorite was one that read "You will soon receive a promotion." Prostitution anyone?