So I've decided to come clean about one of my deep and abiding medical problems. This ailment has been troubling me for many years but the doctors refuse to accept this as a real medical condition. However, I took it to the local pharmaceutical companies and they told me that not only did I have a dreadful medical condition, but they could offer me a prescription for it. Now, my insurance won't cover the drugs and it costs an arm and a leg, literally, but I think it's really worth it.
So the other day, I gave them my right leg and and my left arm in exchange for a prescription to treat my disease. But having only one leg is actually quite helpful; I'm only in half as much pain as I once was. You see, since I was seven years old, I've been suffering from restless baby toe syndrome.
I feel so much better now after getting that off my chest.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Me oh My
This morning, I opened the fridge and pulled out the orange carton that supposedly contained orange juice. Being a bit tired and bleary-eyed, I shook up the carton and then poured myself a glass. Now I knew I was tired, but it seemed to me that the orange juice was a bit brighter in color than usual. It was about the color of TANG! as opposed to the subtle light orange color I've grown accustomed to my orange juice being. I took a sip, assuming the color issue to be due to my having only woken up a few minutes earlier. Whatever this substance I was consuming was, it did not taste like the Meijer's Pulpless Orange Juice I have grown to know and love.
So I looked at the carton to see what valuable insight it might give me as to why my orange juice looked like TANG instead of my beloved orange juice.
Closer inspection of the orange juice carton revealed the truth to me. I had not just poured myself a glass of orange juice. (Actually, if we want to be really accurate in this tale, I had poured myself a plastic cup of an unidentified liquid substance.)
Anyway, the carton revealed to me that my lovely mother had gone out and bought Meijer's Tangerine Juice. And if that weren't bad enough, my lovely mother had left for the airport about an hour and a half before I woke up...and she won't be returning until Sunday. In addition, she had taken my father with her, so I couldn't complain to either one of them about it. Nor could I con them into returning the tangerine juice to the store and replacing it with a product of a slightly higher quality.
My esteemed brother also noticed the odd choice of beverage, but he thought it tasted fine. However, he also wondered why our lovely mother had bought tangerine juice of all things.
So I looked at the carton to see what valuable insight it might give me as to why my orange juice looked like TANG instead of my beloved orange juice.
Closer inspection of the orange juice carton revealed the truth to me. I had not just poured myself a glass of orange juice. (Actually, if we want to be really accurate in this tale, I had poured myself a plastic cup of an unidentified liquid substance.)
Anyway, the carton revealed to me that my lovely mother had gone out and bought Meijer's Tangerine Juice. And if that weren't bad enough, my lovely mother had left for the airport about an hour and a half before I woke up...and she won't be returning until Sunday. In addition, she had taken my father with her, so I couldn't complain to either one of them about it. Nor could I con them into returning the tangerine juice to the store and replacing it with a product of a slightly higher quality.
My esteemed brother also noticed the odd choice of beverage, but he thought it tasted fine. However, he also wondered why our lovely mother had bought tangerine juice of all things.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
