Secondly, if we're going to declare this chimp a human, can we declare my cat a human? I swear he understands English even if he doesn't have the brain capacity to speak English. Plus, you must admit that my cat is MUCH cuter than any chimp. Here, I"ll prove it to you.
Here's Matthew Hiasl Pan, the supposedly human chimpanzee. He's a pretty average looking chimp. He looks friendly and all, but I don't think Matthew and I could ever be good friends.
Now here's my cat; his name is Alex and he's very cute. He sleeps with me at night and he's warm, furry, and snuggly. He likes to watch TV, and he eats fish, turkey, chicken, corn, and black beans. And he'll comfort you when you're sad...if he feels like it.
Now would you rather have a chimpanzee that eats bananas and insects off his fur and scratches himself in weird places or would you rather have this little kitty cat sleeping on your pillow? Now, if you are allergic to cats, I'm sorry and you don't have to come play with my cat, but do you see what I'm trying to say? A chimpanzee is not a person. Thank God the judge agrees with me. Maybe there are still some logical people in this world.
2 comments:
No contest, your cat wins. How ridiculous can people be, eh?
Your cat does win, it is cuter, but... you SLEEP with it? I don't know if you noticed this or not, but cats go potty in a box full o' sand, and they don't use toilet paper, they use their tongues. Cats are kinda cute, I just don't think I'd want one in my bed. Of course, they're still a lot cleaner than chimps. And hobos. And the people who operate carnival rides.
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