What does it all mean?

These are real quotes from Bath and Body Works customers.

Yesterday this guy came in and started looking at our Wallflowers. (They're like a Glade Plug-In type thing.) He was looking at them and I went over to him to ask him how I could help him. He looked at me and said, "I want one that doesn't smell too gay."

A little later this lady was looking at our anti-bacterial soaps and she picked up a bottle that was clearly marked "sparkling peach". She opened it and sniffed it before announcing to anyone between Von Maur and Northern Canada that it "smells like cat pee! Oh, it's peach. I don't like peaches. They smell like cat pee."

Right...well, no peach I've ever eaten smells like cat pee, but if you feed your cat peaches, her pee will smell like peaches.